When the youth enters the phase of adolescence, the task of the adult environment is to direct the psychosexual development of the young man in the healthiest possible direction and to help him gain sufficient emotional maturity to successfully solve sexual problems. But many educators, unfortunately, do not.
Premarital Sexual Relationships or Not
There is still an opinion that adolescents do not have the right to a sexual life, because they are socially, and partly emotionally, children. From this point of view, most educators forbid young people from having sex. Adolescents are not to blame for the fact that the increase in the general standard of living, the improvement of hygienic living conditions, etc., which economic progress inevitably entails, accelerates the onset of puberty, ie the flare-up of the sex drive.
They are also not to blame for the fact that the same economic progress prolongs their social childhood and thus deprives them of the opportunity to start having sex in a permanent sexual community on their own, regardless of anyone’s approval. The natural needs of man cannot be destroyed nor can their satisfaction be postponed indefinitely.
No one has the right to require a young man to stifle his sexual urge and his desire for sexual love when these needs arise in him in full force.
Educators should understand these developments in the young man and show him the most realistic way to achieve the satisfaction of his needs, without harming himself, his partner and his environment. Instead, most educators persistently restrain the sexuality of young people, making it even more difficult for them to cope with the already complicated area of sexual life.
Parents and teachers are so reluctant to talk to adolescents about anything as their sexual problems, ignoring the sexual side of human life as if it were the least important. Thus, young people do not get help from their educators exactly where they would need the advice of mature people.
Sexual Behavior on Entering Adolescence
There are different forms of adolescent disorientation in sexual life. We once encounter an expressed fear of everything sexual, especially contact with the opposite sex. Then adolescents show hoarseness, timidity and insecurity when they find themselves in the company of their peers of the opposite sex.
They usually disguise their emotional reactions by pretending to be disinterested in the other sex, or take an attitude of underestimation and irony towards it. At the same time, they satisfy their sexual needs with masturbation, which is usually more intense the stronger their insecurity before the other sex.
Another form of immature response to sexual needs is a one-sided approach to sexual activity. Because of their inability to experience true sexual love, many young people of both sexes experience their sexuality exclusively instinctively, limiting themselves to sensual pleasure without any introduction of sensitivity into sexual activity.
This is the reason that the sex life leaves a certain emptiness and disappointment in them, so it drives them to change their sexual partner often. In adolescence, however, it is understandable for a man to wander in his search for a suitable sexual partner, and it is natural to indulge in relatively superficial love relationships for a while that do not leave a deep enough emotional trace in him to remain lasting. Only after a certain experience in contact with the other sex is there a partner with whom a man can get along, truly love him and create a lasting sexual community with him.
But sexual promiscuity, which occurs quite often in adolescents, does not have the character of such gaining experience and only gradually finding a suitable partner, but is an expression of a certain psychosexual deformation, disorientation in sexual life, which hinders further emotional maturation in the sexual area. If we do not help such a man in time, he will find it difficult to find a way to a healthy sexual life spontaneously, so he is in danger of remaining at the same level of psychosexual immaturity later on.
Aggressive and Deviant Behavior
Young men who treat girls vulgarly, rudely and aggressively think that such behavior will prove their masculinity, and they consider the rejection of any tenderness, prudence and finesse in the relationship between the sexes as an expression of their sexual value.
An analogous phenomenon is also found in girls who sometimes tend to behave excessively flirtatious, “seductive” or lascivious. But such behavior in neither sex does not lead to the goal they intimately want to achieve: true love emotions. Disappointed and insecure, such adolescents will, however, rarely admit defeat to themselves and look for the reason for their failure in sexual activity, but will rather shift the blame for their difficulties on their current sexual partner and wander even more from one to the other, or will turn to homosexual activity.
Failure at school, neglecting any useful work, escaping into banal and even dissolute entertainment, indulging in revolver films and literature and applying the experience “from such films and literature, drinking alcohol – all these can be symptoms of disappointment in sexual life.
Psycho-Sexual Maturation in Adolescent
Because of its contradictions, adolescence always brings with it a certain amount of emotional conflict with the adult environment. However, if a young man develops normally until adolescence, building an orderly and realistically oriented personality, and if the environment treats him reasonably, his internal conflicts and conflicts with the environment will not exceed the average threshold, there will be no personality deformation, but the internal struggle of opposites in the adolescent is channeled into further psycho-sexual maturation.
The contradictions that abound in the personality of each adolescent can be successfully overcome if he has entered a period of psychosocial maturation with relatively much emotional maturity. Larger educational mistakes, however, made by educators in previous years, hamper the emotional maturation of the child and create above-average difficulties in overcoming life’s burdens. An adolescent will have a harder time coping with conflict situations within himself and towards his environment if that environment has neurotized him by wrong upbringing practices since the beginning of his life.
Consequences of Sex Education Failure
Those parents and educators who have wrongly raised a child until the period of his maturation are very likely to continue their wrongdoing even when the young man ceases to be a child and yet still needs the educational influence of the adult environment. Moreover, these mistakes are likely to be exacerbated because the child is a smaller educational problem than the adolescent, so it is easier to raise him. If, therefore, educators have experienced failure with the child, they will experience even greater failure with the adolescent if they do not notice and correct their mistakes in time.
Difficulties in the psychological development of adolescents, disorders of their behavior and conflicts with the environment can occur even when a young man has entered adolescence as a relatively orderly person. However, there will never be such big problems as when the young person was seriously damaged during childhood.
If parents and other educators have carried out the correct sex education by that time, there will be no greater difficulties for it to continue successfully during adolescence. But it will be very difficult to conduct a more successful sex education of adolescents – either in the family or at school – if until then the educators have refrained from a positive and planned impact on the sexual component of the young person.
Importance of Sex Education In Schools
When adolescents come to the second grade school, the school should give them a complete and detailed overview of sexual issues during the four years of high school. Just as in the last grades of primary school, the topic of sex was too complex to be covered in other subjects, so it is even more true for the second grade school.
Here it is necessary to introduce sex education as a separate subject in all four grades. In the treatment of sexual problems, one should not limit oneself to a theoretical exposition of certain topics and to a template check of what the students remembered from it. The focus of the work should be on talking to young people and on illustrating theoretical settings with examples from everyday life.
Teaching sex education in high school can be supplemented by teaching literature. Valuable literary works of all time deal abundantly with various human characters, sentimental life, and behavioral motives. The love life of a man always plays a big role in this. That is why literature is an inexhaustible source of young people’s lessons about love emotions, about their conflicts in man, about the drivers of human behavior in the sexual field, about natural and unnatural attitudes towards the opposite sex, about the negative consequences that man experiences when unrealistically entering the sexual community.
Teachers of history, psychology and sociology in high school also have the opportunity to address some issues of human sexuality and thus contribute to the sexual education of youth.
Social Factors and Sex Education
Apart from the family and the school, the formation of a young personality is also influenced by various social factors, ie all those collectives and organizations in which young people participate. It is quite understandable that these factors also influence the shaping of the sexual part of a young person.
If we do not want this influence to be spontaneous, unsystematic, accidental or even negative, we should think about introducing as much systematic and positive sex education as possible into the various social environments in which young people move. In order to do something in the field of sex education of young people, as long as systematic sex education is not carried out in schools, some public universities have organized youth groups called “School for Life”.
When young people of both sexes find themselves on a work action or on a camp, ie a collective summer vacation, educators are given the opportunity to conduct sex education through constant contact with young people.
If there are any problems in the relationship between girls and boys, educators need to talk to young people in private and, without condemnation and moral hypocrisy, calmly, seriously and realistically warn the young man about the negativity in his behavior, to discuss mistakes with him. his attitude towards the opposite sex, to advise him how to govern himself.
At the same time, it is useful to organize group discussions where many issues in the field of sexuality can be systematically presented and discussed.
Influence of Porno Industry on Sex Education
Parents and other educators often complain about the negative impact of bad, eroticizing films on youth. It is true that many films portray human sexuality in a very vulgar way, as their purpose is to irritate the sexual lust of the audience as much as possible in order to fill cinemas. It is impossible to forbid young people to watch bad movies. Yet it can be bypassed to get children to watch cultural films and to spontaneously avoid the worthless.
We will succeed best in this if we constantly encourage them to watch valuable films, giving them an example themselves, and if we discuss these films and point out what I can learn from them about the relationship between the sexes.
But even relatively bad movies can be usefully used for sex education when dealing with a love topic. Without condemning the film in a hurry and without forbidding them to watch it, one should have a conversation with the children about such a film and lead them to a conclusion about its negativities, as well as about the wrong and even immoral actions of certain heroes.
A similar attitude should be taken towards the different reading of young people, which does not always have literary value.
Influence of Social Activities on Sex Life
One of the common reasons for misunderstandings between youth and their educators is the way they have fun, especially dancing.
Dance is a social activity that has been serving young people of both sexes for centuries as a means of getting to know each other and getting closer. It also serves a certain awakening of erotic desires and their partial satisfaction. That is why it is quite understandable that young people like to dance and that they are sometimes passionately devoted to this way of having fun.
It is true, however, that dance, especially in its modern form, has negative characteristics that do not favorably affect the psycho-sexual development of young people. The main negativity of contemporary dance is that vulgar sexuality is often introduced into this form of entertainment, which is reduced to bare stimulation of sexual drive, often in a very primitive or even slightly hysterical form, with very little emotional upgrade or no human component of sexuality.
Contemporary dance music, which is almost completely reduced to a bare rhythm, and deprived of any melody and harmony, is a strong aphrodisiac, ie a means of awakening the sexual urge. Movements in modern dances, which often imitate instinctive movements of the sexual act in a more or less masked way, also have this purpose.
Added to this is the fact that alcoholic beverages are regularly poured at parties attended by young people, which contribute to the eroticization of dancers, the reduction of their self-criticism and the vulgarization of their behavior.
These are all facts that act as negative factors in sex education because they put a young man in danger of degrading his sexuality to its most primitive forms, unworthy of a modern cultural man. But it should also be taken into account that young people who are still emotionally immature for their age usually behave in this way, ie those who have already developed into deformed, neurotic personalities, whose sexuality has remained one-sided.
Such representatives of modern youth bring an atmosphere of vulgarity to the dances. If they succeed in suggestively influencing other youth, then there is a danger that many mentally healthier and more normally oriented young people will succumb to suggestion and accept vulgar behavior, which is otherwise even foreign to them.
However, it should be clear that a young man with orderly emotions and healthy outlook on life will not so easily succumb to the negative influence of his peers, or at least not for a long time or on a larger scale.
Entertainment and dancing cannot be forbidden to young people because it is their instinctive and therefore natural need. But they can be influenced to resist the influence of those who seek to instill a spirit of vulgarity and sexual primitivism at youth parties. The best counterbalance to such influence is proper general, and especially sex education.
In addition, it is necessary for young people to develop good taste, ie a sense of aesthetic enjoyment of beauty. It would be necessary to strictly prohibit the dispensing of alcoholic beverages at youth parties. Alcohol not only has an excitatory effect on the sex drive, but also has a detrimental effect on the general psycho-physical development of a young person, because the developing organism is more sensitive to the toxic effects of alcohol than the body of an adult.
Addiction to alcohol in adolescence, especially in mentally less resistant people, is a common beginning of long-term and even lifelong alcoholism.
Fears and Beliefs of Unintended Consequences Among Parents
Finally, we must also look at the issue that still bothers many parents and other educators because they do not dare to look reality in the eye. It is a natural need of young people for sexual intercourse.
Most educators still live in the belief that a young man should be banned from having sex. Such an attitude tends to be justified in various ways. Some say that a young man must learn, rise spiritually and build his personality, so he must not waste his energy on sexual activity.
Others argue that abstinence from sexual intercourse strengthens the will of young people and thus creates the basis for a strong and solid personality. There is also the opinion that sexual activity has a bad effect on the mental life of young people.
Many educators fear that there will be an unwanted pregnancy and all the unpleasant consequences.
Some believe that pre-marriage sex life delays marriage because young people are not motivated for marital union if they are allowed to have sex outside of marriage. There is also a claim that sex before marriage is especially harmful for female youth, because it allegedly burdens girls with feelings of moral guilt, fear of other people’s opinions about her or the habit of having sex outside of marriage, which allegedly prevents a woman from staying married. faithful to her husband.
All these arguments, which try to prove the need to ban adolescents from sexual intercourse and to postpone it until marriage, are in fact an expression of educators’ insecurity before the problem of sexuality and their own inability to look at sexuality openly, realistically and without fear.
We must not forget that sex life is a natural need of every man who reaches maximum intensity in adolescence. That is why we commit severe violence against a young person if we forbid her sexual activity and thus dig a deep gap of mistrust between her and her educators, which makes it difficult for her to further mental and social maturation.
Fulfillment’s From Sex Life
It is quite logical that man satisfies his natural needs, but it is desirable that he do so in a way that will give him full emotional satisfaction.
If sexual life makes young people happy, it should not be fought, because frequent positive emotions contribute to the healthy development of the human personality. Therefore, it is not true that sexual life interferes with the building of a person or his intellectual and emotional enrichment. The problem is that many people do not bring enough sensitivity, personal values and culture into their sexual relationships, but often act primitively and vulgarly.
A superficial attitude towards sexuality, the reduction of sexual contact to the mere gratification of instincts, the inability to perceive and use all the riches that sexual love gives a man – this is what hinders the full development of youth, and by no means sexual life itself.
After all, there is no need to discuss whether we should allow young people to have sex before marriage, because they take that right for themselves and without asking their educators. It is more important to think about how we will help them raise their sexuality to the highest and most humane level possible.