All forms of intrusive behavior have a common goal:
- To attract attention
- To stand out
- To be interesting
- To be admired
- To be envied
Intrusive Behavior in Children:
- Mild forms are sometimes observed in normally developing children
- Examples include interrupting adults and excessive talking
- Often observed in only children who feel neglected or lonely
Causes and Signs of Intrusive Behavior in Children:
- Fear of losing prestige or privileged position in the family
- Spoiled or neglected children
- Jealousy of siblings or adults
Effects of Intrusive Behavior in Children:
- May disrupt social situations
- Can lead to a child being singled out
- May cause negative reactions from adults
Intrusive Behavior in Adolescents and Adults:
- Boasting, exaggeration, and conceit are common in pre-adolescents and adolescents
- May continue into adulthood
- Foolish behavior as a way to gain attention and be different from their usual selves
Analyzing and Treating Extreme Cases of Intrusive Behavior:
- Analyzing the whole personality and attitude towards the environment
- Finding and removing the reasons for discouragement
- Helping the child gain more self-confidence and feel accepted in their environment
The Common Goal of Intrusive Behavior
All forms of intrusive behavior have a common goal: to attract the attention of their surroundings, to entertain people around them, to stand out at all costs, to catch people’s eye, to jump above average, to be particularly interesting, a sensation, an object of admiration and even envy.
Intrusive Behavior in Children: Mild and Pathological Forms
The mildest forms of intrusive behavior are sometimes encountered in children who develop mentally normally. Only when they exceed a certain intensity can they be considered pathological. It is, for example, a well-known habit of many, especially younger children, to jump into the words of adults, to chat too much when they meet strangers.
The Significance of Intrusive Behavior in Children
Such behavior is most often observed in the only children who sometimes feel lonely, have a feeling that their parents do not take care of them enough, that they do not have time for them. Such occasional small jealousies of parents, of their work, of the serious activities of adults, of their conversations with each other in which the child cannot participate, lead him at times to impose himself on them by his chatter, to recklessly intrude on their conversations by his childish remarks, and systematically impose himself by chatter when strangers come into the house or the parents go with him to visit.
The Psychological Reasons Behind a Child’s Intrusive Behavior
The impartial observer warns that such behavior may indicate that the child is probably constantly in fear for his prestige, for his privileged position in the family. It is usually a spoiled child who is used to everyone dealing with him, to always be in the center of everyone’s care, attention, and conversation. When he finds himself in an unfamiliar environment, there is a danger that he may not be immediately given such an extraordinary position. That would be too much of a blow for a spoiled child; his fragile self-confidence would immediately turn into anxiety, into a feeling of being rejected, forgotten, or belittled.
The Different Forms of Intrusive Behavior in Children
Younger children are characterized by another form of intrusive behavior, which is the performance of various “ceremonies”, some kind of harassment and even whole performances in connection with various situations in which educators are usually keenly interested, eg taking food, dressing, defecating, departure to sleep, etc. Then the child yawns, sways in a chair, mischievously runs around the room, avoids his parents, pretends to be sleepy, complains of alleged pains in the abdomen, head, makes various grimaces, and the like.
Parents’ Response to Children’s Intrusive Behavior
Parents respond differently to these small children’s challenges; some play with the child and extend to infinity the enumerated children’s functions; others get angry, ugly, and rush him. But in any case, they deal with it more and longer than they would do if the child met his basic life needs in a natural way. And that child really wants to achieve that. With his intrusive behavior, he clearly expresses the desire to pay more attention to him, to give him evidence of his affection more often.
Intrusive Behavior in Older Children and Adolescents
Older children, especially in the pre-adolescent years, are otherwise intrusive, for example, they are very prone to brag when they carry in themselves the need to constantly emphasize themselves, to emphasize their presence, their value. Boasting is a sign that the child does not respect himself; it must constantly listen in its own words to the confirmation of its value, it must experience it in the admiration or envy of its surroundings.
Such behavior is characteristic of spoiled children who have neither enough opportunity nor enough initiative to really affirm themselves. Since they do not often experience the real value of their personality, they have to imagine it for themselves in order to at least fictitiously maintain a good opinion of themselves.
Characteristics of Spoiled Children
Boasting is not always a sufficient means to give an insecure child a fictitious sense of security. Then the child develops other, more intense forms of intrusion, becomes conceited and begins to overeat. His behavior is rigged, artificial, unnatural, calculated to catch the eye, to deviate from the usual behavior of children of the same age. Exaggeration is manifested in posture, gestures, speech, facial expressions, manner of expression, walking, dressing, etc.
Exaggeration and Intrusion in Children and Adolescents
Imagination and exaggeration continue into adolescence. Young people appear on the street conspicuously dressed, combed in an unusual way, artificially behaved, with tentative expressions in their vocabulary. Various “cowboy” clothes, old-fashioned “hairstyles” and “guy’s” shoes of young men, as well as adjusted shyness or forced “freedom” in behavior, whole layers of color on the face and tousled hair of girls become signs of such overwork. The intrusive behavior of young people is an attempt to advertise in the eyes of others, but above all in their own. It is known to be a solid commodity. doesn’t have to advertise much; advertising is its quality. This is also true for man. When the need arises to overdo it, it is a sign that he does not believe that the community will accept him as its full member without any special tricks.
Intrusiveness in Child as a Form of Compensation
Boasting, conceit, and exaggeration are characteristic not only for spoiled but also for vainly raised children and youth. Vanity, self-sufficient, socially isolated parents often convince the child that his friends are not up to his abilities, standard of living, or social status. At the same time, they instill in him the belief that he is something better and more valuable than other people, teach him to belittle the environment and the need to always and everywhere play superiority. Such parents are conceited themselves, and they themselves are overwhelmed at every step, there is no spontaneity or naturalness in their behavior, even in the most intimate marital and family relationships. The child identifies with them and thus adopts an unnatural attitude towards other people.
The intrusiveness of the child is manifested several times in his efforts to always impose himself as a leader among other children. If he fails to do so, he is offended or saddened and leaves society. This form of intrusion is most often a sign that the child has not gained sufficient security in contact with his peers, that he does not know how to cooperate with them, so he tries to compensate for this deficit of sociality by replacing cooperation with command. In other cases, they are spoiled, self-sufficient children who find a continuation of their privileged position in the family in a commanding relationship with their peers. Sometimes a child in command of his playmates imitates authoritative parents and thus seeks to compensate for the violations of his pride caused by the strict action of the educator.
Such little “leaders” usually retain the need to command in their youth, and even later when they grow up. In any community they find themselves, they are not satisfied until they take the lead, until they break out to the top, where they will be again – alone. People who carry within them a passionate desire to be superior to their environment, to rule, are regularly of a weak social nature. They know how to live next to other people, but they don’t know how to live with them. Dictatorial asociality is, in fact, silent in every authoritative person.
Foolish Behavior as a Sign of Deeper Discouragement
There is another form of behavior that represents a particularly pronounced attraction of other people’s attention and emphasis on its supposed meaning. It is a foolish behavior of a child who, in front of other people, above all in the company of his peers, gladly plays a joker, behaves like a harlequin, like a puppet that serves to amuse the environment. Such a child actually pretends to be important by his hanging, and even in serious situations, he makes some unsavory jokes. This is the type of child who makes grimaces in class, preferably during class, makes jokes with the small animals he brought to school, dresses weirdly during the holidays, soils his face with paint or chalk, and the like.
Joking behavior, mostly of older children, is regularly a sign of a child’s deeper discouragement. It is usually about neglected, unloved, emotionally neglected children, or children with some physical defect that deprives them of self-confidence. Sometimes they are self-sufficient, lonely children and even old people, who do not manage to be equal to each other. Then they try to gain the affection of their surroundings in a way that is, in fact, quite alien to their nature and the complete opposite of their usual conduct; a withdrawn child with his jokes suddenly comes into contact not with individuals, but with a whole group of peers; the depressed child exaggerates in his artificial joy; the serious starmali becomes unnaturally frivolous; the emphatically decent child behaves very recklessly.
In such a distortion of himself, the child, in a way, renounces his “I”, everything in the structure of his personality that torments him, that does not allow him to live in a normal way. In this negation of self, the child expresses a strong desire to be different than he is. But it does not know how to change itself in a realistic, constructive way, which is a sick person. It, therefore, shifts into the opposite of its behavior, thus only seemingly changing its nature. This behavior is just as unnatural as the one the child would like to run away from. Therefore, it does not find lasting satisfaction in him, but only a momentary delusion that he is not what he is. In fact, the child still remains insecure in himself, discouraged, distrustful of himself and others because jokes do not bring him real affirmation. They do bring the child to the attention of his peers, but they also make him laugh and tease. This child feels good, although he does not want to admit it to himself, but it discourages him more.
The Continuation of Such Behavior in Adolescence and Adulthood
The effort to experience the value of one’s personality through foolish behavior does not always end at the end of childhood. It sometimes continues in adolescence, so it is sometimes encountered in the behavior of adults.
Analysis and Treatment of Sick Intrusiveness
their youth, and even later when they grow up. In any community they find themselves, they are not satisfied until they take the lead, until they break out to the top, where they will be again – alone. People who carry within them a passionate desire to be superior to their environment, to rule, are regularly of a weak social nature. They know how to live next to other people, but they don’t know how to live with them. Dictatorial asociality is, in fact, silent in every authoritative person.
Foolish Behavior as a Sign of Deeper Discouragement
There is another form of behavior that represents a particularly pronounced attraction of other people’s attention and emphasis on its supposed meaning. It is a foolish behavior of a child who, in front of other people, above all in the company of his peers, gladly plays a joker, behaves like a harlequin, like a puppet that serves to amuse the environment. Such a child actually pretends to be important by his hanging, and even in serious situations, he makes some unsavory jokes. This is the type of child who makes grimaces in class, preferably during class, makes jokes with the small animals he brought to school, dresses weirdly during the holidays, soils his face with paint or chalk, and the like.
Joking behavior, mostly of older children, is regularly a sign of a child’s deeper discouragement. It is usually about neglected, unloved, emotionally neglected children, or children with some physical defect that deprives them of self-confidence. Sometimes they are self-sufficient, lonely children and even old people, who do not manage to be equal to each other. Then they try to gain the affection of their surroundings in a way that is, in fact, quite alien to their nature and the complete opposite of their usual conduct; a withdrawn child with his jokes suddenly comes into contact not with individuals, but with a whole group of peers; the depressed child exaggerates in his artificial joy; the serious starmali becomes unnaturally frivolous; the emphatically decent child behaves very recklessly.
In such a distortion of himself, the child, in a way, renounces his “I”, everything in the structure of his personality that torments him, that does not allow him to live in a normal way. In this negation of self, the child expresses a strong desire to be different than he is. But it does not know how to change itself in a realistic, constructive way, which is a sick person. It, therefore, shifts into the opposite of its behavior, thus only seemingly changing its nature. This behavior is just as unnatural as the one the child would like to run away from. Therefore, it does not find lasting satisfaction in him, but only a momentary delusion that he is not what he is. In fact, the child still remains insecure in himself, discouraged, distrustful of himself and others because jokes do not bring him real affirmation. They do bring the child to the attention of his peers, but they also make him laugh and tease. This child feels good, although he does not want to admit it to himself, but it discourages him more.
The Continuation of Such Behavior in Adolescence and Adulthood
The effort to experience the value of one’s personality through foolish behavior does not always end at the end of childhood. It sometimes continues in adolescence, so it is sometimes encountered in the behavior of adults.
Analysis and Treatment of Sick Intrusiveness
When a child’s intrusiveness has reached extremely sick proportions, the whole personality and attitude towards the environment should be analyzed again. The reasons for his discouragement need to be found and removed, he needs to be helped to gain more self-confidence and
When a child’s intrusiveness has reached extremely sick proportions, the whole personality and attitude towards the environment should be analyzed again. The reasons for his discouragement need to be found and removed, he needs to be helped to gain more self-confidence and to feel accepted in his environment as a full-fledged individuality.
